Life's a Wonderful Test
by ByakurenBreak
Summary: Wheatley feels that Chell's life would be better without him. Luckily, Mr. Johnson is here to show him that he's far from right.


**I'M A MONTH LATE BUT HERE YOU GO**

* * *

Today was the worst.

Granted, Wheatley had a lot of bad days before, but this particular Christmas Eve took the cake. The former core had been human for at least a few years, but had gotten rather fed up with humanity in the matter of a few days... Well, there was one other human he liked. In fact, he got through this terrible day all for her sake!

It started when he woke up to loud retching sounds coming from the bathroom. Well, that was no fun, getting the flu on Christmas. Wheatley decided to make Chell a bowl of nice hot chicken soup, and give her some medicine for motion sickness... only to find that they had neither. No matter! The store was only a block away, which was great since the car - Well, Chell's car - was in the shop. He put on his jacket and stepped outside. It was bloody freezing, but damn it, he was doing this for Chell! He reached into his pockets to put on his gloves- Glove. Singular... Wheatley groaned, putting the glove back into his pocket and trudged through the snow.

The little grocery store was PACKED. Despite being much taller than the other human customers, he still found himself having trouble getting around. While deep in thought, he soon found himself on the ground, surrounded by shards of broken glass and soaked in... Pickle juice?

"Hey! Watch where you're going! That was the last jar of pickles in the entire damn store, you moron!"

Wheatley grimaced. He hated being called the M-word, quite a lot actually. In fact, every time that word was spoken, it'd bring flashbacks of those awful times, in that awful place. He remembered Chell telling him that humans could be nasty, and not everyone would know about his trigger. Some may not even care. So he took a deep breath and apologized, the angry customer only replying with a scowl. Wheatley really didn't want to stay there for too long, so he quickly grabbed what he needed, paid for the items, and got out of the crowded hellhole.

That wasn't so bad, right? Not quite. While walking home, he was daydreaming about spending the rest of the day taking care of his beautiful wife. The vision abruptly ended with snow in his face, followed by children's laughter. He had walked too close to someone plowing snow and wound up being buried up to his forehead in the stuff. It took awhile for him to dig himself out, although he would have spent less time saving himself if someone actually helped. While dusting himself off, he let out a cry of frustration when he realized that his wallet was missing. He didn't bother fishing after it, his gloveless hands had gone through enough cold today.

By the time he got back home, Chell was up, cooking lunch. Wheatley bit his lip; it wasn't uncommon for Chell to take care of things herself, yet he couldn't help but feel guilty that he wasn't able to help her out like he had planned. Luckily, Chell didn't seem to mind, greeting him with a warm smile.

After lunch though, things started to go downhill again. Chell seemed tired and rather out of it for the rest of the day. Wheatley had told her that she should go back and rest, but Chell shook her head, continuing with cleaning the dishes. She was rather distant and unresponsive for the rest of the day. Of course, this made Wheatley worried that he had upset her in some way. He ALWAYS worried about unintentionally hurting Chell in any way, not wanting to repeat his heinous actions of the past. He wanted to ask her what was wrong, but before he could ask Chell anything, she had ran into the bathroom to… Do her thing. Wheatley shuddered. Humans could be disgusting sometimes…

She was in there for hours.

* * *

That night, Wheatley awoke to… Whimpering. He sat up and looked at the clock - 3:06 am. Hearing another sob, he instinctively looked down at Chell. The poor girl was tossing and turning, her facial expression displaying fear and pain. Wheatley's heart broke at the sight, figuring she was having another Aperture Nightmare. This was the third one this week... Before Wheatley could gently shake her awake, Chell sharply arose and screamed.

Wheatley reached his hand out to her, whispering, "Luv, it's alright, it's…"

"No! Get away!"

Wheatley, stared, his eyes widened at her startling exclamation. He knew it. He knew he had done something terrible. She had to have been dreaming about him, and not in a good way. He tried to place his hand on Chell's shoulder again, but she quickly turned away from him, flinching. Wheatley froze up, a whirlwind of sadness acclimating in his chest.

Chell stared back, her whole body trembling. She was clearly regretful for her statement, but tears proceeded to slide down her face. "I… I need to be alone for a m-"

He had already booked it.

* * *

"Okay, okay, she was clearly dreaming about me, cards on the table." Wheatley had ran out of the house, and fled to a small park."I really shouldn't be in a tizzy over this. She forgave me, she told me… W-what if she doesn't? Did she just tell me that to make me feel better? Or so that I'd leave her alone…?!" Wheatley groaned, his vision blurring, his cheeks getting wet, resulting in a cold, stiff sensation on his overall countenance. What if his presence is nothing more than a constant reminder of her trauma? What if he's just making her nightmares worse? He told her he was sorry... he tried to be the best friend- and eventually boyfriend and husband- that he could be. But what if that still wasn't enough? What if it would never be enough? Overcome with guilt, he collapsed on his knees into the snow, burying his face in his hands.

"Everything would be better… If I just never existed…"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Wheatley heard a vaguely familiar voice from behind him. "I believe this belongs to you, sonny."

Wheatley whipped around to see a vaguely familiar face to match the voice, holding out his wallet. "C'mon, it's yours, isn't it?"

"M...Mister Johnson…?"

Cave stepped into the light, with a grin. "That'd be me, Mr… Who're you again... Ah! Wheatley! Mr. Stephen Wheatley! How long has it been, son?"

Wheatley was bewildered. "H-how are you here? You…"

"Died, yes. Don't remind me. But anyway! The heavens sent me here to help you, because they want to 'redeem' me or some mumbo jumbo. Apparently, whoever's runnin' the place must hate the fact that I did some… questionable stuff for the sake of SCIENCE! I mean, what's the big deal? Anyway! To put it bluntly, I'm an angel that's trying to earn his wings, and to get those feathers, I'm gonna help you stop feeling blue! So, what's the problem? Feelin' guilty about your past? Worried that your lady-friend's upset with you? Wishing you were never born?"

Wheatley blinked. "...I'm not even going to ask how you managed to figure all of that out."

"I'm an angel. I know a lot of things. Also, I don't know if you knew this, I was a genius back in the day. So. Do you really think that things would be better without you?"

Wheatley nodded, and Cave snapped his fingers. The snow turned into metal panels, the park slowly transforming into what looked like the central chamber, filled with scientists talking to each other about the mundane tasks of the day.

Cave chuckled, placing a hand on Wheatley's shoulder. "Did you know that you were the first core ever made?"

"I figured, but what does that have to do with-"

"You probably don't remember much from before you became that core, but to sum it all up for you, Mr. Stephen Wheatley put a slip of paper into the suggestion box that said, 'Maybe we should create certain robots to connect to GLaDOS to try and control her'."

"See?" Wheatley moaned, "I ruin everything, even my own bloody life!"

"Hold your horses, boy. Remember, a core's purpose was to slow Her down. Without you as the, er, prototype, there was no morality core." Cave snapped his fingers again, and Wheatley watched in horror as GLaDOS spontaneously flooded the central chamber with neurotoxin, every scientist dropping dead. "...Wait, she wound up doing that in the end, didn't she?"

"Look at the date of the calendar over there."

The date was 7 months earlier than what was supposed to be "Bring your Daughter to Work Day". Furthermore, there were more employees in the facility, as they hadn't started with mass layoffs yet.

 _Snap._

Out of the corner of Wheatley's eye, he spotted her. Chell, she was still alive! Wheatley ran up to her, calling her name. She couldn't hear him… Or even see him. He stood by and watched her complete test after test, often catching a glimpse of the elusive artist, Doug Rattmann himself. He saw Chell take down GLaDOS, Doug making sure she was kept alive in cryo-sleep, him getting shot by a turret in his bravery.

"...He would have made a better lover for her than me… Okay, I know what happens next. There's this long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happens, and then Chell has her second go round-"

Cave grinned. "Yes, but things are a bit different without you. You know how the place was going to go down in flames if you didn't wake her up and escape on time? Without you, it was a close call before a maintenance core-"

"Wait, but you said cores didn't exist!"

"Personality cores, sport! Maintenance cores were always a thing. Take a look." Snap.

Wheatley observed the dandelion-eyed maintenance core boot up GLaDOS, preventing the facility's doom. A robotic claw grabbed a very, very large cube from the wall. Wheatley's heart sank. "That's her room!"

"Without you to wake Chell up first, She takes matters into her own hands." Cave snapped his fingers again, making time fast forward. "Do you remember this particular test?"

Before Wheatley could answer, GLaDOS spoke. "I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space."

Wheatley gasped, trying with all his might to guide Chell in the right direction, but to no avail. He had no choice but to follow her into the trap. Chell seemed to be the same old Chell in general, looking skeptical about the whole situation. "Oh, look. There's a deer! You probably can't see it. Get closer." Green smoke filled the room, resulting with poor, beautiful Chell in a collapsed heap.

Letting out an indistinct cry of anguish, Wheatley desperately tried to hold onto Chell, sobbing hysterically as his translucent hands passed through her. Surprisingly, Cave presented a shred of sympathy, snapping his fingers to allow the desolate former core to become semi-corporeal.

As Wheatley held his true love close to him, Cave sighed. "Now, I don't know about you- Or her, for that matter- But I think it's a damn sight better to be alive with some ruffled feathers than dead without a chance, don't you?"

"This whole time… I've been thinking about how awful it would be for me if… If she didn't love me anymore," Wheatley sniffed. "But what's really important is that she's alive at all… That she was given the chance to have a happy life. And whatever else I did… I also gave her that chance…" He started to cry again, not seeming to notice that Cave was gone, as well as all of his illusions.

* * *

"Wheatley… Wheatley…"

"There you are, darling!"

Wheatley's eyes snapped open, his head looking in many different directions before settling on Chell, alive, well and wearing her white winter coat instead of that awful orange jumpsuit. Filled with delight, Wheatley picked her up and spun her around. "Chell!"

She laughed, giving him a light squeeze. "I was worried sick, I should be the one doing this to you- Were you crying…?"

Wheatley set her down, smiling through his tears. "It's nothing, I just- Oh, Chell… I love you so much. And all I want in the whole world is for you to be happy, nothing else! Even if that means turning around and walking out of your life right now, if that's what you want, I don't mind!"

Chell looked surprised. "Wh- Are you CRAZY?!" She smiled and pulled him in for another hug. "I don't want you to ever leave me!"

"But… But before, I… thought you decided having me around was too painful for you…"

Chell sighed, planting a smooch on his lips. "Wheatley, right now, I need you more than ever. Both of us need you."

"...What?"

Chell grinned, guiding Wheatley's hands to her stomach. "Both of us need you~"

Wheatley tilted his head in confusion for a moment, then it hit him. "You mean-?"

"You're going to be a father."

Wheatley could have sworn he saw a tiny glint in the sky before the sun rose.


End file.
